The Quiet Life?

I often wonder what would I enjoy more, the quiet life in Japan or life here in the city. I am planning a big change next year and I wonder if moving to a quieter locale in Japan might be the answer. I do plan to head to Canada sometime in the near future (I hope) and resume my teaching career, but before I leave Japan’s shores, would it be a healthy move to live in the countryside or at least a smaller city/town?

I realize that life in a large Japanese city is exciting and fast paced. There are so many things to do and of course so many amenities. Some things I would definitely miss if I were to relocate to a smaller area, but there are many things I would not miss at all.

What would I miss about big city living?

1. International restaurants. My wife and I really do enjoy stopping by a Thai, Indian, Turkish, Italian, etc., restaurant on a Sunday afternoon for a late lunch. I would miss the variety of international eateries if I were to live in a small town.

2. Transportation. Public transportation in Japan’s large urban areas is really good. I suppose I would have to get a car!

3. Department stores. I would miss the convenience and variety of department store shopping.

4. Cultural events. I would miss the museums, parks and frequent outdoor cultural events.

5. More people speak English so it is easier to communicate.

6. More foreigners living in the big cities. People in a city like Kobe are quite used to seeing foreigners on a daily basis so they don’t tend to gawk much.


Things I would not miss:

1. Crowds of people all over the place.

2. Nightclubs and bars. I’m in my mid-thirties, married and have a child. To be honest, I have no interest in going to clubs anymore. I do however enjoy an occasional pint at a pub, but to be honest, I only go out once every few months!

3. Traffic

4. Air pollution

5. Tired looking salary men everywhere I go. They really are depressing.

6. Lack of green-space (mind you, Kobe does have a lot of it).

7. Having to commute by crowded train.

Now of course, life in the country would have its benefits. It would be quiet and peaceful. I could get outside and be much closer to nature. The environment would be cleaner and possibly safer for raising a child. I could also get involved in more outdoor activities. I would also be forced to speak more Japanese!

There would also be some downsides. I would stick out like a sore thumb as a foreigner and it would probably be more difficult to make friends and certainly not easy to have a variety of friends. I also think that the lack of amenities might start to get to me.

My wife thinks that I would have a romance period with my new rural location for about two weeks and then be bored out of my tree. She may be right. She tends to know me better than I know myself!

To be honest, I have no idea if I would be happier living in a smaller population center. I might be or I might not be. I suppose the only way I would ever know would be to give it a try. There are clearly both upsides and downsides to living in the city vs. living in the country. I suppose that is the same in any country you call home. Food for thought though!

Is the Expat Life a Lonely One?

Today was a great day. Although I have a cold, as do my wife and son, I felt great in other ways. I heard some great news with regards to work this week and am looking forward to a much happier year than last!

I was also happy because of a very touching blog post written by a dear friend who lives in Canada. My friend Lonnie wrote about a group of friends who were thicker than thieves back in the mid 1990’s.

There were a group of us who in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia, Canada who were as tight as any group of amigos could ever be. We based ourselves out of a local 24-hour coffee shop and shared more wonderful moments than one could count. Lonnie wrote about our group of wonderful friends and also of our team member who was so suddenly and tragically taken away from us at the young age of twenty-four years. I actually cried when I read his post.

Lonnie’s post got me thinking about friendship. Friendship is something we value so much and I think has been harder for me to find over my many years of life abroad. Correction! No, it hasn’t been hard to find. Good friends have been easy to find in my almost nine years of living outside of Canada. The difficult part is holding on to those friends in an expat world that sees people come and people go.

I lived in South Korea for more than five years and a now approaching three years here in Japan. I can’t speak for other countries, but I’ll at least share my experiences and feelings about living in these two places.

During my years in Korea, the expat community seemed to be fairly close. I first lived in a small suburb of Seoul and there weren’t many foreigners there at all. The few of us that spent time together really enjoyed our experiences in a new country. I think I was drawn closer to these people than friends I had back in Canada because of the fact that we were something familiar and comfortable in a foreign land. For two years that I lived in Ilsan (the city outside of Seoul), I had some amazing friends, but then I moved into Seoul.


With some amazing friends hanging out in Ilsan, Korea (2002)


While in Seoul, I met another amazing group of guys who were my coworkers at a large school called Pagoda. They were guys from Canada, New Zealand, Australia and the United States. We worked together, drank together, played together and sometimes got into fights together! These guys would have done anything for me and vice versa. I loaned them large amounts of money and they did for me as well. We had each other’s backs in bars fights when rowdy American soldiers wanted to tussle with English teachers and we simply enjoyed quiet nights of watching DVDs together. They were amazing friends. Then I left Seoul. Eventually they all moved away as well.


My amazing group of coworkers and friends I had while living in downtown Seoul in 2004.


I then made my way to Busan, the southern port city in South Korea. I loved Busan. It was far more laid back than Seoul and the people seemed a little more foreigner friendly.

While in Busan I met another great group of people. I lived in a neighborhood in Haeundae called Jangsan that was riddled with foreigners. I loved it there. I even met my wife there. I became involved in music again for the first time since I was spending time with Lonnie and my friends back in that Cape Breton coffee shop. I was playing in bands, open mikes and generally enjoying life. I had a few amazing friends who, again, I will never forget. Then, as normally happens, we all left Korea. We left at different times, but we all left and went our ways. Friends I will never forget but had to say good-bye to.


My great friend Tom just after we ran the Terry Fox Run in Busan, Korea in 2007.


Life abroad, or at least the life I have led abroad is very different than if I had stayed in Canada. If I had stayed in Canada and settled, I would see the same people and have the same neighbors for years and years. I would work with the same people, see the same folks at the same hangouts. I would probably have friends that I would always see on a regular basis.

That simply hasn’t been the case for me as an expat. Most people don’t move to Asia for the rest of their lives. Most people come here for one year. Some even stay for two or three, but long-term folks aren’t so common. I have met many more here in Japan than in Korea, but nonetheless, Asia is a very fluid place where people come and go. Friendships are like that as well in my experience. Friends come and friends go. Eventually you sort of get used to it and harden yourself to the reality, but every once in awhile, it can weigh upon you and make you feel a little sad.

I’ve made so many wonderful and life long friends during my time in Asia. Luckily, with social media, I can keep in contact with these folks, but chatting on Twitter of Facebook isn’t as satisfying as stopping by their house for a Saturday afternoon BBQ. It’s not as fun as meeting at the pub for a beer or coffee shop for a latte.

Now of course, this may not be the experience for everyone who decides to make their way to Asia, but it has been for me, and many others I know.

Don’t get me wrong; life in Japan is wonderful. I really do like it here. The culture, history, food and people are great. Sometimes though, I feel a little lonely. I have an amazing and compassionate wife, a beautiful and silly son and a loving family back in Canada. I have friends here in Japan as well, but I often feel like something is missing.

I suppose this all comes back to my friend Lonnie’s post. His post got me thinking about those wonderful friends I had back in Cape Breton (who have all moved on to other parts of Canada). It then got me thinking about all the wonderful friends I have met and then had to say goodbye to during my many years in Korea and Japan.

The expat life is one filled with adventure and often the mundane. It is colorful and interesting. It is always blog and vlog-worthy as well as challenging. It can also at times be a little lonely (At least in my opinion).

Six ways to cope with loneliness in a foreign land

I currently live in one of the most beautiful cities of the world – Paris! My husband and I moved here four months back. While family and friends constantly express excitement and envy at the current status of my life, I have to say I have felt immensely lonely here at times.

I currently live in one of the most beautiful cities of the world – Paris! My husband and I moved here four months back. While family and friends constantly express excitement and envy at the current status of my life, I have to say I have felt immensely lonely here at times.

When I share these feelings of loneliness, it often comes as a surprise to many since they perceive me as an independent woman who has lived before in Germany, Italy, Switzerland, U.S.A, England and that too all alone. I wasn´t married then. However, for me, the loneliness in these experiences did not feel that intense since I had my job, my colleagues and an English speaking environment that was supportive at least at work.
However, coming to Paris was different. I moved here primarily because of my husband´s job. I continue working as a freelancer from home, which has its benefits but also its disadvantages. One ends up staying home, not moving one´s body enough, not meeting new people and sometimes not having enough projects to keep one´s energy channelized. The problem got especially aggravated in my case since I didn´t speak a word of French and didn´t know a single soul here. It felt so hard to pass the days while my husband was at work. It literally felt as though my life was coming to an end. I sat with my thoughts alone the whole day and felt my frustration compounding because I did not have a French work permit for which I have to wait (still!) at least six months.
The last one month, however, I have experienced many positive changes within myself. Something just clicked within me in a kind of “aha” moment. I realized that while the external situation was indeed not the most comfortable, it was my thoughts that were aggravating the problem internally. No amount of advice from the outside can make us do anything, unless we ourselves decide to do what serves us, what´s good for us. Just the simple act of accepting that Paris is now my home and deciding that I have to feel well here for my own sake, felt tremendously empowering. I know of many wonderful people / especially women who might face similar dilemmas when they go abroad and decided to share with you the strategies I used to make me feel better and get back on the happy bridge of my life.

Accept it as a normal Feeling

Whether you are feeling homesick or like me just lonely in a new country, the primary thing to realize here is that it’s a completely normal feeling. We all feel afraid of being judged for what we feel. Everyone around us expects us to be happy as we settle in San Francisco or Paris, not knowing that it is not so easy to integrate! We feel that pressure to be happy and get angry at ourselves for feeling bad. Don´t take this pressure. Be kind to yourself. You are allowed to feel what you feel, even if nobody understands.

Seek support – Talk about it

On some days when I didn´t log on to Skype or pick up the telephone, I realized that the whole day could pass without me having said a word to anybody until my husband returned home in the evening. This is not good! As humans we need to feel connected, we need to feel assured that people who love us are there for us, even if far away. When feeling homesick or lonely, not connecting with people is the worst you can do for yourself. I started to rely on my parents, my sister and a few close friends to feel connected, to speak my language and feel a little bit at home during the days. It also greatly helped to just talk about what I was feeling! Piling up our emotions eats us from the inside. It feels good to release them in the safety of the people who love us. In my case, my husband, in spite of his tiredness after a long day´s work, has been so supportive. If there is no one you feel the comfort of speaking to, you can consider logging on to websites such as www.7cupsoftea.com or www.hopenetwork.in where trained listeners or psychologists will actively hear you out and support you in full confidentiality. I work as a volunteer – trained listener for 7cups of tea and find it quite a satisfying experience to support others in distress. Hope Network is also an amazing platform for seeking support online.

Accept your current reality

When we arrive in a foreign land, we try really hard to maintain our comfort zone by denying the painful experience of change that we are going through. On my part, I refused to learn French, stepped out very little out of the house, continued speaking English to everyone I met and continued cooking lots of Indian food at home. Until one day it struck me, I am living in Paris!!! This cannot go on forever. I have to start learning French and start eating some French food at least and stop living in a fabricated reality. Accept your reality, don´t deny it! In fact, embrace it .

Take baby steps towards integration

Learning a new language, trying to make new friends and in my case also looking for work, in a new country can feel overwhelming when put all together. I decided to break it down in baby steps so that I don´t feel bogged down by all the newness and give up. Baby steps helped me and it’s a great way to start for anyone! Doing small things daily that help us integrate slowly into the new community and culture, can accumulate overtime to give you great results. I decided to start learning French for 30 minutes a day! While structured classes are the best way to do it, I am currently using many free sources available on the internet like –  http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/primarylanguages/french/ or https://www.duolingo.com/ and I can already say the basic greetings, numbers and colors in French J True integration in a foreign community needs language skills.  Escaping acquiring those is not healthy.
Secondly, joining social activities in your neighbourhood like a dance club or gym can be a great way to meet new people belonging to the new culture and a great way to make friends even if in a different language! Dramatic as it may sound, I do believe that everyone understands the language of a big smile and love. Thirdly, devote some time to learning more about the city you live in, discover how the transportation works and go discover the city a bit by yourself. Bit by bit, and without overwhelming us, these baby steps can help us release our fear of the foreign and make us feel more at home in the new land.

Stay busy!

Not everyone has the means to pay for a gym or go out discovering the city each day. Not everyone likes to meet new people constantly. However, you can and you should still keep yourself busy. Staying busy at home, especially if you are not working, can help you alleviate the stress that comes from negative looping thoughts. I have started to find so much joy in little things these days. Each time a negative feeling like loneliness starts to rise, I pick up a book to read, write on my blog (www.orientalgoddess-express.blogspot.com), paint my nails, do yoga or just watch a movie online! The idea is not to trap oneself in one´s head and steer away from negative thoughts.

It takes time.

Last but not the least, knowing that it takes time to settle in a foreign country and that it will certainly get better with time, is a very comforting piece of knowledge to acknowledge. Allow yourself the time and patience to cope with the changed environment and believe that it will get better for you. Positive thinking can make a world of difference to our inner state, manifesting itself on the outside.
If you are reading this, I hope it helps you a little bit. Feel free to share your strategies of coping with homesickness or loneliness in a foreign country. Would love to hear from you.

Feeling Lost, Confused & Lonely While Traveling?

If you were to read every article on this blog, you would probably notice that there are only a handful of occasions when I speak about travel or any of the destinations I’ve been to or any of the experiences I’ve had over the years, in a negative manner. This is not some trick and I am not trying to deceive anyone into thinking that travel, or more specifically, long-term travel, is nothing but a never-ending stream of overwhelmingly positive experiences. But I do believe that our own attitude affects our own travels and if we do find the right mindset, we can find the positive in just about any destination we come across.
Of course, while almost 14 years has passed since I first started this journey of mine, my memory is also not so terrible that I can’t remember feeling scared, confused and lonely while traveling around Bangkok and its surroundings back in 1999 and feeling as if travel was significantly more complicated and frustrating than I ever imagined. It was my first real solo travel experience after all and those first few days were tough, very tough.
I couldn’t understand the language, I had no idea about the local customs, I didn’t know which places were safe, which should be avoided, what foods to try, what had a higher chance of making me ill. I didn’t have any friends around, I didn’t know who to trust or how to find out any reliable information and I didn’t even know what I was ‘supposed’ to be doing every day.
So, to say that travel is without its struggles would be misleading. What I prefer to say is that travel has its struggles, but they can be somewhat easily overcome.

How to Overcome the Struggles of Travel

Take a deep breath and start talking. That’s really what it takes. In the end, the only way to learn some of the language, the only way to learn about the customs and where to eat or what’s on the menu or how to find information is to communicate with those around you. Talk to the shop owners, ask your waiter a question, start conversations with fellow travelers (many of whom are wandering around struggling with the same things as you!), rely on the hostel staff for some advice.
Don’t be afraid to make a few cultural errors, to completely butcher some local phrases or to sound like a fool from time to time…we all do it, even experienced travelers! That’s how we learn and as a result, that’s how we overcome the challenges that travel involves.
Who cares if your attempt at saying “hello, can you help me find the train station?” in Turkish ends up sounding like “hello, can shoes eat fried mangoes?”. Chuckle with the local person you asked, who will undoubtedly be chuckling if not staring at you with the blankest face you’ve ever seen. No big deal! Why? Chances are that after that chuckle is over, that same person is going to help you out or they are going to help you find someone else who can help you out. People are overwhelming friendly all over the world, even when you need to find mango-eating shoes.
If you’re at a restaurant and you can’t read the menu. Ask! It sounds so basic but I know that it can be difficult to do when you’re in a foreign land and you don’t speak the language. Ask anyway! Pull out your phrase book and say “Chicken?” in the local language while pointing to a dish on the menu. Look up the word for ‘recommendation’ and ask your waiter to do just that. You’ll see that such interaction will almost always lead to assistance. People will help you figure out what’s on the menu or where that train station is located. That’s just what people do.

And whenever you do meet someone that is willing to help you out, take a moment to ask your other questions. Ask what is acceptable versus rude behavior in certain situations. Ask if a particular area is safe or not. Ask what foods are the best to try. You’re not expected to know everything before you arrive. And the majority of the time you are going to get answers and you’re going to not only walk away with more confidence but with a smile on your face at the interesting interaction that took place.
Another option is to visit websites such as Couchsurfing.org and meet up with locals wherever you are, locals who have a profile on that site simply because they want to meet up with you. This is not just a site to find couches to sleep on. There really are endless numbers of people all over the world who just want to meet travelers for a chat because they enjoy meeting different people. You’ll notice these people very clearly because they have a coffee cup in their Couchsurfing profile. Meet up with some, ask them questions, learn from them and make some friends.
(I am often asked if I am lonely while traveling. It’s actually the opposite. It is hard to have some alone time while on the road, simply because I am constantly around new people everywhere I go.)
Most of the fear we have while traveling is a result of not talking to anyone. We feel alone as we wander the streets, we feel helpless, we feel that there is nobody around us that we can communicate and share our days with. But there are hundreds, thousands, even millions of people around us all the time and all we have to do is open our mouths and start a conversation or two. Once we do that, the entire situation changes and before you know it your worries, along with the challenges that have been so frustrating, will suddenly disappear.
So if you’re out there in the world struggling to enjoy your travels and wondering how on earth others can be on the road for so long feeling so lost and lonely while traveling, just start talking. The more people you talk to, the richer your travel experiences and the fewer struggles you’ll have. In fact, you might end up having so few struggles that you’ll want to continue traveling for a few extra months….or even years.
If you’ve traveled before, do you agree that interaction is the best solution? If you’re traveling now, are you dealing with some of these struggles?

Top 7 Travel Mistakes and How to Prevent Them

You might think that you’re too smart to make these seven travel mistakes, but my guess is that you may be surprised at how many of them you’ve made.

Heck, a lot of these you might even make before you even hop on the plane!
My confession? I’ve made six out of seven of these, and I travel a lot. How many of them have you made?

Top Seven Travel Mistakes

1) Not Having a Passport Valid for the Required Length of Time

I’m not talking about having an expired passport and being denied boarding – although I do know people it’s happened to, I’m talking about having a passport that isn’t valid for long enough. Case in point. Last year I was planning a trip to Sri Lanka and thought since I was close – relatively speaking, I may as well go to India afterwards. As I was filling out the visa for India, I realized that my passport needed to be valid for six months in order to be allowed entry. Mine was only valid for 5 months and 22 days! As I didn’t have time to renew my passport before finalizing my travel plans, India didn’t happen.

How to Avoid this Travel Mistake:

Always check how long your passport has to be valid for when traveling. There are a surprisingly number of countries that require it to be valid for at least six months.

2) Not Buying the Complete Travel Insurance Policy

You never know what can happen when you’re around wildlife.

I’m assuming that you know why you need travel insurance for medical reasons, but in addition, full coverage can also save your butt under other circumstances. Remember that ash cloud in 2010 from Iceland that had a massive interruption on travel plans? Or how about if a war suddenly breaks out in the place you were planning on visiting? Or what if you get sick right before your trip and are unable to go? Not only is this incredibly inconvenient, but it can cost you hundreds, sometimes even thousands of dollars, if you have pre-booked everything at your destination from your hotel to your rental car to tours! That’s where a complete travel insurance policy like Allianz’s Classic Plan with Trip + comes in. Not only that, they have 24 hour assistance and will help you figure out how to catch a missed flight or make the arrangements for your medical evacuation. I’ll confess, that while I always (after a very expensive lesson learned in my early travel days) have medical travel insurance, I’ve been lazy about getting the complete policy. I’ll be changing that in 2016!

How to Avoid this Travel Mistake:

Research your options and purchase a complete travel insurance policy, not just one that only covers medical expenses.

3)Not Checking How to Get From the Airport Before Your Departure

Now obviously this one isn’t nearly as serious as the previous one, but it could end up costing you a lot of extra moola! You may assume that there will be an Information Desk when you arrive, but depending on the size of the airport and when you arrive, there may or may not be. And you don’t want to count on that. Otherwise, how will you know which taxis are the unofficial (and more expensive ones)? Usually (but not always) there are public transportation options, but this requires some prior research so that you know which stop to get off and how to get to your destination from your stop. You also don’t want to rely on wi-fi, which may, or may not exist, and you also don’t want to count on being able to buy a country specific SIM card for your phone at the airport.  Admit it, we’ve all probably done this one, but as an example a taxi from the Munich airport costs a whopping ~€80 to the city centre, while a train ticket costs €10.80 and it takes almost the same amount of time to get there.

How to Avoid this Travel Mistake:

Check the airport website beforehand for transportation options, or make arrangements with your hotel for a pick up.

4)Being too Scared to Travel to an “Unsafe” Destination

I felt very safe in Istanbul, Turkey.

This one is really relevant at the moment with the U.S. Department of State’s Worldwide Caution alert. I admit it, it’s easy to give into the hype…until you realize that you really need to do your research. Earlier this year I had been invited to speak at a conference in Antalya, Turkey. Then a few weeks before the conference, Turkey shot down a Russian military jet. I started to question, Is it safe to visit Turkey? The short answer is yes – with the exception of the provinces that border Syria and as long as you are not within 10 km of the Syrian border. Thanks to a quick search in Google maps, I discovered that Antalya was 1000km away from the Syrian border. Based on this, I didn’t cancel my trip. I’ve also travelled to Lviv, Ukraine (again, it’s only one part that’s not safe, the rest of the country is fine) and Kazakhstan, despite the Canadian government’s Advise a high degree of caution. In each case I felt safe. This is the only travel mistake listed here that I have NOT made, so whew, I have one redemption!

How to Avoid This Travel Mistake:

Not every country or region is safe at any given moment, but with a little research or crowd sourcing on Twitter, What’s XXX destination really like at the moment?, you may find that your travel fears are unfounded. If, on the other hand a destination really isn’t safe, then by all means don’t go.

5) Not Turning off International Roaming

All it takes is for a shocking phone bill to realize how costly this mistake is. I once racked up over €250 in charges just talking to my husband over a few days. Yikes!

How to Avoid This Travel Mistake:

Check the fees with your phone carrier before you travel, or if you don’t have time to do that, turn off roaming to be on the safe side, or be willing to pay the price.

6) Not Tightening the Cap on Your Bottles of Liquids and Putting them in a Waterproof Case

I’ve made this mistake more than once. I pack in a hurry, throw everything into my cosmetics bag and arrive to conditioner all over everything! It’s not just enough to ensure that the cap is on tight, you also need to ensure that it’s in a waterproof case. I don’t know whether it’s due to pressure or what happens, but there have been times where I’ve sworn the cap on my conditioner or shampoo was on tight…only to find it otherwise upon arrival. If this does happen, you at least want to contain it to your cosmetics bag – easier to clean than all your clothes and the interior of your suitcase.

Solution:

Pack toothpaste with a screw-cap rather than a flip-cap (I’ve had really bad luck with flip-caps coming open) and put everything in a sealed bag, or waterproof case.

7) Not Double Checking the Name of Where You’re Going

Antigua in Guatemala, not Antigua the island in the Caribbean

This sounds obvious but hear me out. Many years ago, I made an impromptu trip from Annapolis Maryland to see Frank Lloyd Wright’s famous Falling Water house. I googled the name of the town and figured that I’d ask the Information Office for more specific instructions once I arrived. I didn’t have data on my phone or a navigation system in my car and made my way with a good old-fashioned map. When 5 hours later I arrived at the Information Office and asked for specific directions of how to get to Falling Water, I was met with a very quizzical look. I was in the wrong place, but one that had a similar name to where I was going. I drove like a mad woman to the correct place, but it was now closed and I missed seeing this incredible piece of architecture. I curse myself to this day!
This type of mistake is more common than you think. I was recently in Antigua, Guatemala, and my guide said that at least once a year, he waits for a tour group that never shows up. Several hours later he gets a phone call – they’re in Antigua, the island in the Caribbean – an 11 hour plane ride away!
In Germany, where I live,  you have to be very careful of the double naming option. There is Frankfurt am Main (the one you are familiar with), but there’s also Frankfurt Oder. Now if you’re flying, it wouldn’t be an issue, but if you were taking the train or driving, it could be a different story since they’re over 600km apart!

Moral of the story:

Check that the place you’re going to is the place you actually want to be going to!

Expat Living: 5 Practical Questions You Need to Ask

Expat living can be very exciting! But it can also be very stressful!

I’ve been an expat in 4 different countries – S. Korea, Thailand – 2x, U.S, and now call Germany home. I truly believe the pros outweigh the cons in most cases. But for many expats the initial expat turns into panic, or fear as issues arise that they hadn’t really thought through.

Here are 5 of the more common stressors of expat living, and how to resolve them – before you even step foot in your new host country!

1) Do you have enough money and how are you going to transfer it between accounts?

How much is enough? It really depends on the country and your start up expenses associated. For example, in Germany, when you’re renting an apartment, many landlords require a 2 -3 months deposit in advance. Coming from Canada, where  only 1 month is required, this was quite a shock. I was also surprised to learn that many apartments in Germany don’t come with kitchens – meaning you have to buy a full kitchen – counters, cabinets, and appliances.  Luckily we found an apartment that had a kitchen, but I know many expats who have fallen in love with an apartment and have then had to shell out a couple of thousand or more for a kitchen.
Besides ensuring that you have enough money, have you figured out how to transfer it between your bank account in your host country and that in your home country? The first time I transferred a €1000 from my German bank account to my Canadian, I almost had a heart attack when I saw that it cost me over €60 in fees!
Then I tried Paypal. But with Paypal, you can’t transfer money to yourself, so I would transfer money from my bank account to my husband’s bank account. He would then send it to my Paypal account, and then I would transfer it to my Canadian bank account. The whole process took 5 – 7 days. It was less than ideal to say the least! On more than one occasion I prayed that the money would arrive in time to cover my mortgage payment – one time it didn’t. So in addition, to paying Paypal’s fees, I was hit with an additional fee from my bank!
Now, I use CurrencyFair to transfer money. You transfer money from your bank account to your CurrencyFair account, and from there you can transfer it to yourself, or whoever else you would like – they don’t even need to have a CurrencyFair account. What I appreciate most about it is that you know exactly how much money you’re getting when you transfer and exactly what the fees are. on my recent transaction I saved over $70 CAD, by using CurrencyFair instead of doing a bank transfer:

Plus, it’s really fast! Instead of waiting 5 – 7 days, my money arrives in 1 – 2 days. Love, love this feature! Check it out using this link and you’ll get a free transfer!

2) Do you have travel insurance?

I learned this very expensive lesson when I lived in Thailand years ago – so don’t judge, I wouldn’t make the same mistakes now. I arrived without travel insurance since my employer was going to organize it for me. I figured that a few weeks without health insurance couldn’t hurt – except that it did!
I developed a really bad kidney infection in which I was hospitalized for 2 days. The bill came to $3000 – which I didn’t have! I had just accepted a position as an intern for the Thai-Canadian Chamber of Commerce and was making $1200 (Canadian) a month. I ended up having to pay $300 a month for 11 months (interest) until it was paid off. Ouch!
Not only does the right travel insurance cover medical costs, but it will also cover flights if you have to cancel or postpone your trip for some reason. That also happened to me – and again, I didn’t have travel insurance.
I was living in S. Korea, and was unexpectedly deported. I accepted a job teaching English in Indonesia and booked my flight. Three days later riots broke out.  I received a letter from the school recommending that I not come since it wasn’t safe. I had already purchased my flight and when I tried to change it to Thailand, where I had found another teaching job, it was non-transferrable. The result?  I had to pay for 2 flights, after the expense of being deported!
I don’t think you can overstate the importance of travel insurance. When you’re an expat, someone could fall very sick at home and you need to go back immediately. The last-minute flights can cost you a fortune, adding an additional burden. Or even worse, you may not be in a position where you’re able to afford to go home. Take it from me, who has learned the hard way – twice, you need travel insurance.

3)How will you stay connected with friends and family at home?

This is SOOOOO much easier now. When I was an expat in S. Korea and Thailand, there was no such thing as Skype. If you wanted to talk to someone, you paid exhorberant rates for each phone call. Skype and Google Hangouts are  great ways to stay connected and you actually get to see the other person. Plus, they’re both free. I also have a group WhatsApp (free messaging app for smart phones) for my mom and brother so that we can exchange photos and emails together from anywhere.
Another feature that I use regularly for people who aren’t on Skype is Skype calls to mobiles and landlines. This is a paid feature, but incredibly cheap. You can either purchase Skype credit or a subscription. I use Skype credit and it costs me 2.1 cents per minute to call from Germany to Canada. It’s soooo much cheaper than calling from a landline or your mobile.

4) How will you learn the language?

In a perfect world, you will already have some basic language skills before you become an expat. When I moved to Germany, I had very basic German – i.e. I could say Hello my name is Laurel. I come from Canada type stuff.
I highly recommend learning at least the basics before you become an expat if at all possible. Once you’re in your new host country, you will have so much going on, that it can be comforting if you can order a coffee, or understand the cashier at the grocery store when they tell you how much your purchase is.
BBC has some great (free) language learning resources to get you started.  Once you’ve arrived, it’s worth enrolling in additional language classes, but the best way to learn a language is to practice it. I’m sooooo guilty of not speaking enough German since my husband and German friends speak good English, but I’m trying to break the habit of speaking English with them this year. You should also check out:  The Best Way to Learn a Language….Besides Speaking It and Fun Ways to Learn a Language.

5) How will you make friends?

Proof that even the socially inadept can make friends with locals. (I’m the one with long dark hair at the back on the left.)

Don’t wait until you arrive to start making friends. Start researching potential groups that you may want to join or do google searches for your favourite activities, such as book club in Munich. I do this before each move. That way, when I arrive, I’m ready to hit the ground running and start my social life. In a lot of ways making friends is like dating – it takes time before you meet that special someone, so be patient.
On my very first day in Munich, I attended a book club, which I had researched beforehand. I ended up meeting some lovely people, which made me feel settled in more quickly. Plus, one of the German ladies that I met, is still a friend 4 1/2 years later! On that note, while I highly recommend making friends with locals, and not just other expats, it can be awkward. Don’t give up. It’s SOOO worth it in the end. My German friends have eased my mind and made sense of the non-sensical to me more times than I can count – even if I am socially awkward with Germans.
Meetup is a great way to find groups who meet around a common interest – increasing your chances of meeting people that you connect with. It can be exhausting going to event after event and meeting nice people, but never really feeling like you have a strong connection with someone. That’s why I find that attending groups around a common interest to be so effective since you’re meeting people with a shared common interest, whether that be a sport, photography, or another hobby! With that being said, at some point, you will probably find yourself faced with a weekend with no plans and nobody to do anything with. You’ll wallow in self pity and remind yourself of how cool you were in your home country. It’s happened to every single expat I know. When that happens, stop wallowing and read this instead!
I truly enjoy the expat life, but I know many people expats who struggle with the challenges, especially in the beginning. By figuring out the answers to these 5 common stressors before you go, you’re much more likely to settle in faster and have time to explore your new country with your new friends!
I’d love to hear what other questions you think people should ask themselves before they become an expat. You can leave a comment below. If you enjoyed this post, please share it with your friends.

The Importance of Personal Time

This is a guest post by Elise, one half of Positive World Travel.
I’m going to be selfish for this post. I’m going to write about me. Don’t worry, I’m not going to bore you with the details of my favorite food, hobbies, or shoe size. Instead, I’m going to talk about why taking some time out from being a couple can be a good thing when you travel. Yes, I’m talking about that popular catchphrase, “me time.”
Last month, when Anthony wrote about traveling as a couple, he spoke from the heart and really hit the nail on the head as to what couples travel is all about. It’s about the experiences and memories that you create together, and it’s about being a unit and sharing your adventures.
While all that is true, I thought it was important to mention that while having a successful relationship on the road does stem from compromise, communication, and understanding, another important factor is taking the time to do things that are just for you.
Without trying to sound too much like a TV talk show host and shouting, “Go on, girl! You deserve it! Let it be all about YOU! Do it for yourself!” I do believe it’s true that doing things for yourself can lead to twice as many benefits for a couple. Being selfish every once in a while can be a good thing.

Why is “me time” important for my relationship?

Life on the road is different from life back home. Regular routines or structure are things of the past. You have to work, communicate, and solve problems together while navigating new surroundings frequently. While Ant and I do most things together, we have days when we need our own space. Sometimes we just need to do our own thing, whether sitting on the beach with our iPod or off doing a hike alone.

Ant got the chance to go spear fishing the other day, which left me alone all day to do as I pleased. Was I bored? Did I get lonely? No, I spent the day pampering myself! I washed my hair, gave myself a nice mani and pedi, and then lost myself in a good novel. I even went out to a local store and stocked up on chocolate.
Taking time away from your partner and doing what you want for yourself gives you time to relax and recharge, which only helps your relationship. You’ve done your own thing, so now you can be ready to listen, compromise, and be a loving partner with even more confidence.
I think some arguments that Ant and I have had simply happened because we didn’t have enough separate space. Everyone needs their own personal space. Taking some time to go off exploring on your own, reading a book, or doing an activity can really solve some problems before they even begin to bubble at the surface.
Furthermore, “me time” doesn’t necessarily have to mean “alone time.” It can quite often mean hanging out with fellow travelers, and it can be a great chance to socialize with others and let you and your partner interact in different environments.

While Ant and I really do love and enjoy each other’s company, we also enjoy meeting other people from all over the world. Quite often we will have a few drinks with other travelers and barely speak to each other the whole night. We get lost in other people’s stories.
Taking time for yourself is such a good thing, but what makes “me time” even more enjoyable is being able to recount your day. The day after Ant returned from spear fishing, it felt like we hadn’t seen each other in ages! We were so excited to chat about what we had done! We chatted and laughed about our adventures that night over a bottle of wine and some freshly grilled fish that Ant had caught. It was just as exciting as when we go out and do something together, and it helped keep the energy and excitement in our relationship going.
Don’t be afraid to ask your partner if you can do your own thing for a while. Chances are they will want to too!